Well, not really, because I don’t have gonorrhea. After talking about drug-resistant gonorrhea in a presentation earlier this week at work, I thought it would be cool to use it again. Come on, it’s gonorrhea! Still, even without gonorrhea, I’ve had a burning sensation in my crotch, and I know exactly what it’s from–Noxema. Uh, what?

If you’re going to be in the saddle for a long time, especially on the indoor trainer, using chamois cream for lubrication helps reduce chaffing. Trust me, it’s crucial if you’re going to be riding indoors for more than 1-2 hours because of the amount of sweat the pools in your bike shorts. Now, chamois cream comes in all sorts of “flavors” (water-based, oil-based, etc).  The gold-standard is Assos (I know, great name).  The only problem is that the stuff is like $20.  That’s a little expensive for my crotch, so I started looking for alternatives.

After a little research, I found out that legendary US cyclist Andy Hampsten (check out the cool footage of him securing his 1988 Giro win in the blizzard on the Gavia) used and advocated Noxema.  Hmmm.  I gave it a try, because at $3, it’s a lot cheaper than Assos. Apart from the smell, Noxema feels much better than many of the other chamois creams that I’ve tried (still haven’t tried Assos though).  I’ve found it lasts a good 2 hours on the trainer and does minimize chaffing. Againm the downside is the smell (better than Icy Hot though) and mild burning senstation. No outdoors experience yet, but I have yet to find the need for chamois cream outside even on 4+ hour rides.

BTW, in the products I never knew existed category, I found out Noxema makes a bikini shaver.  Uhhh, I won’t go there…

The expensive gold-standard….

The cheaper, effective alternative….

Uhhhh….